


Alex Day

by UltraviolenceFiction



Category: Joker (2019)
Genre: Alex day - Freeform, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Arthur Fleck and OC, Bullying, Drama, F/M, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, High School, Love, Probably Not Happy Ending, Sadness, School, Tragedy, Violence, falling love, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:15:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26626573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UltraviolenceFiction/pseuds/UltraviolenceFiction
Summary: Arthur Fleck is a young man who hates his life despite his young age: School is hell, his mother wants to control every aspect of his life, and has a strange condition that is difficult to explain to others, a condition which has caused him all those laughs and blows against him. But one day his luck changes when he meets the new girl in sky-blue shoes on the first day of school. A girl from California.
Relationships: Arthur Fleck/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	1. First day of Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I hope you like this story I want to create. The truth is, I wanted to write something about Arthur when he was young, and everything got worse since Todd Philips published those images about Arthur's Journal, and especially about Arthur's dream of going to California and his "Alex Day". Ideas flourished in my mind, so finally, after Planning a lot, my two braincells worked, and writing and writing like a mad, came out this! Haha!. I hope you like the story very much, I am very sorry if I have grammatical or spelling errors, English is not my mother tongue.
> 
> With nothing more to say, enjoy it!

Rain.

The rain fell on the city, cleaning every street, every corner, every centimeter. The water fell on the buildings, on the trees, and on the people. People ran to hide from the rain as if the drops were dangerous, but they were only helpless raindrops. People shouldn't be afraid of rain, especially when those people live in a city like Gotham City.

In a forgotten place in the city, an abandoned building, being rescued by a strange clown clan, someone observed the rainfall.

Sitting in the armchair of the place of his hideout, taking off the red coat of his colorful suit, taking out of his pockets a cigarette and his lighter. He lit the cigarette and took it to his mouth, feeling the nicotine scrape his throat.

It had been a great day for everyone in that building, one more assault that turned out to be a success, all his men were happy, handing the money out of each other. They offered more than half to Joker, of course, he deserved them. To their surprise, Joker rejected the money. He told them to keep the money while he went to his place. His men did not refuse at his command, but they decided to keep his share, as their leader used to change his mind quickly.

The truth was that Joker didn't feel well that day, especially that date. Joker kept seeing the rain out the window, it was so common the rain in Gotham, because Gotham was so sad. Would it be raining in California? No, definitely not, California would be sunny as usual, because California was like that, California is a cheerful place.

Just like her.

Joker closed his eyes, hoping his memories would not affect him, but when he closed his eyes, nostalgia invades him, and his memories came afloat.

…

Breathing deeply, trying to run, but as fast as he did, he couldn't escape. There was no escape. Arthur woke up abruptly. The alarm clock was ringing. The nightmare wasn't over, in fact, it hadn't even begun. It was about to start.

_"No, it's not today"_

He didn't want to get up from the couch, because that would mean only one thing:

The first day of school. The first day of hell.

Arthur Fleck was an introverted 17-year-old boy, green eyes, slim complexion, with clothes he had had since he was 13, and with a strange condition he had since he was born. Or at least that's what they told him. He would have loved to pretend to be sick or something to keep lying on the couch. But it was very difficult to fool his mother.

"Happy, are you awake?”

Penny, his mother, was in the door frame, with her arms folded. It seemed that she always had an aura of authority around her. She wanted everything to be in order, her son's life had to be too.

"Yes, mom…" Arthur, heavily, gets up and goes to look at some clothes. He would have liked to had gotten some new clothes for that day, but with a lot of debts, that was a luxury he couldn't afford.

"You need to eat, this is your first day, a new grade Happy! Are you excited?!"

"Yeah"

Shy, Arthur tried to change his blue pajamas, but Penny's presence made him uncomfortable.

"M-mom…"

"Yeah, Happy?"

"C-can you go to y-your room or k- kitchen, please? I-I'm gonna change my clothes and-" And asking his mother for that was like he offended her.

"What are you saying Happy? That's nonsense! I'm your mother, what are you ashamed of? I saw you naked before!"

"B-but M-"

"I changed your diapers when you were a baby, what's the difference?"

Without chance, Arthur had no choice but to change his clothes in front of Penny. Why did she always have to do that?

"Penny!" An unpleasant voice was heard from Penny's room. Was Charlie, Penny's boyfriend "Where are you?"

"Coming darling!" Penny ran into her room. Arthur had to take that opportunity and put on his clothes fast.

Despite this, he doesn't like Charlie. He was a disagreeable man, someone who preferably wanted to keep his distance. But Arthur couldn’t say anything to Penny, because "he is the new love of her life". And to be honest, Charlie helped with some payments.

Arthur went to the kitchen and poured himself a plate of cereal.

He didn't know where it was worse, whether at home or at school. At least at school, he wouldn't hear any more unpleasant noises. Finishing his breakfast, Arthur tried to approach Penny's room.

"Mom, I'm going to school"

"Ok Happy, have a nice day"

Arthur stays a couple of seconds out of her room. He wanted Penny to accompany him to the bus stop and wait for the school bus. But when he started to hear unpleasant noises, he decides to leave the place.

…

With his old backpack, Arthur waited in the bus stop, his ankle moved fleetingly, his anxiety was there. He saw the yellow bus in the distance. This one stopped, Arthur got into the bus, and he hoped not to meet those who always bothered him.

No one he knew. Not bad. He went to one of the middle seats and sat down. The day started well, too well. Not meeting the usual bullies was already an advantage.

He listened to everyone else behind him. They all talked among themselves, about fashionable music, magazines, some girls talked about their boyfriends and their summer vacations in another state. Arthur felt the need to get up, go over to them and talk to them, but Arthur was someone who was not well received, it was for many things: He was not someone with money, he was not someone interesting to meet, his mother was a single mother (He did not understand much why that was a problem for him at school), and their topics of conversation were strange.

But of course, the main reason why he was rejected for everyone was for that strange condition in him, his laugh, laughing at inappropriate times, times where he should be silent and serious. He did not know which was worse, that they believed that his laugh was real or when they found out that it was a condition, when they found out it was a condition, they got more reasons to mess with Arthur and call him a "freak."

_“Arthur Freak, the giggling fool” “The freak who laughs” “chuckle-idiot” “The school clown_ ” And more nicknames they gave Arthur, nicknames that he didn't want to remember because that stressed him a lot, and if he kept thinking about that could trigger more laughs, and it was the only thing he wanted to avoid, more laughs, to avoid more blows.

He hugged his backpack, just looked out the window, looking at the city, the sad Gotham, watching people walk. He wanted to become someone else, any of those people who walked in the street.

…

Going to school was not something exciting for him either, he just looked his back for security, while all the boys and girls talked to each other, some hugged to they friends, others greeted each other effusively, and others checked their lockers. Arthur was just trying to go unnoticed as if he did not exist, it was the best for him.

“Arthur Fleck!”

_Fuck._ Arthur recognized the voice. He tried to walk faster but huge arms wrapped around his neck, and back, immobilizing.

"Hi, Arthur Freak! How was the summer, huh? How many circus shows did you do, clown? At least your shows were good or did you just laugh like stupid?" Three other guys near that one started laughing. They were some of Arthur's classmates “You finally lost your virginity? I bet it was with a whore, or was it not, Arthur?” They started laughing louder. Arthur felt the shame on his shoulders, humiliated on the first day of school in the first minutes, great. He sees that some girls started mocking him too, and he could hear a "Is he the weird with the laughter? He looks like a fool!"

"See you in class clown! I already have a girlfriend by the way and I need to see her, that’s something you'll get it, ‘cause you’ll never have one!" The four guys left there, scoffing, while Arthur already had a lot of eyes on him. He immediately ran to the restroom. He entered one of the cubicles, dropped his backpack, and sitting on the toilet, he began to cry loudly, trying to silence his sobs with his hand, sobs that turned into laughter.

He hated being bothered so much, but he hated himself more.

_Why I can't be someone healthy? Why this fucking condition? Why I’m a fucking sick man?_

The bathroom door opened, and he made a superhuman effort to be quiet until he looked down the cubicle some sky-blue shoes with white stockings.

...


	2. Sky blue shoes

Arthur didn't know what to think, he was just trying to keep quiet, but that was impossible, after being a little surprised.

Those were definitely women's shoes; would a girl go into the men's room? Or did he, in desperation, enter the women's bathroom and hadn't noticed? If it was the second thing, he was screwed, another reason to be harassed on his first day. He decided to keep quiet and pretend he wasn't there.

He heard how that girl used the sink; maybe she would just wash her hands and leave the place. However, he noticed that the sky-blue shoes were now standing in front of the cubicle where he was.

“Hello?”

The female voice spoke to him. Arthur trembled with fear, what could he say? He covered his mouth with his hand again.

“Huh… I know this would sound weird, but I heard you crying. I know this doesn't concern me, but are you okay? Is there anything I can help you with?”

He fell silent after hearing that, was someone worrying about him? It must have been just courtesy, but very few had ever treated him like this before. Besides, a girl treating him like that didn't usually happen to him. He vacillated a lot, but Arthur wiped his tears with the sleeve of his sweater, grabbed his backpack from the floor, and left the cubicle.

“Holy s…!” The girl screamed when she saw him, "I thought was the woman’s bathroom! I’m so sorry!"

Arthur blinked; she was confused too. Wow, at least he wasn't the only one.

"I-I thought it was the m-men's bathroom. I-I don't really know who this bathroom belongs" The girl suddenly laughed lightly. And her smile remained on her face. Arthur just moved his lips, too shy to smile at her.

"Well, we'll know when we get out of here ... But first, are you okay?" Arthur didn't know what to answer at the time. For a moment, he had felt strange since no one before other than his mother had cared about him. But what could he say to that girl? He was just having a normal day?

“I j-just had problems, that's all” He took a deep breath, making all traces of crying disappear little by little, using the sleeve of his sweater again to wipe his face.

"I’m sorry to hear that I hope those are resolved soon."

Arthur felt so good that someone cared for him, even if he was a total stranger, as she was. His pessimistic mind told him that soon she would leave the bathroom and forget about him. That would probably happen. "By the way, my name is Alexandra, Alexandra Grant, but you can call me Alex."

The girl stretches her hand towards him; Arthur quickly examined that gesture. Was someone introducing himself to him? He must be going crazy.

"Arthur, Arthur Fleck."

After shaking hands, the bell rang; they two walked out of the bathroom, not checking whether the bathroom was for men or women.

…

The two were walking together; it was a very curious thing to see, as they looked completely different between themselves. The girl radiated a lot of energy and happiness, and the boy, well, just didn't have the same shine.

"I haven't seen you before," Arthur said it curious because it was true, he hadn't seen that girl before at his school.

"Do you look at people if they are there or not?" The girl asked him in a tone of voice that intimidated Arthur for a moment.

"N-no, I mean-”

"I’m just kidding” She started to laugh again, and Arthur laughed too, removing the feeling of ruining everything again. “I'm not from here. My family and I moved here this summer."

“Really? Where are you from?”

“California. I’m from California.”

“California…” Arthur's eyebrows rose, and a shy smile came out of his mouth. He had listened before California and even came to think that maybe if he had a little luck when he was older, he might one day go to know the place. He really wants to know the sea, feel the sand on his feet and hear the waves “…It must be a beautiful place.”

“It is, but Gotham it has its charm, I really love places like New York or Chicago, or Gotham. I never thought I'd live in a place like this before…”

Alex was non-stop talking, she was talking about cities; when she did, Arthur decided to study her: she wore a dress the same color as her shoes, a blue bow in her hair, her bag was brown, she wore a little makeup in her face, and he was a bit mesmerized by her lips as she continued talking.

Arthur immediately stopped those thoughts. He couldn't do that. He couldn't fall in love with the first person who treated him well, besides, people used to disguise their real intentions well. He scolded himself, how could he think of Alex like that? He was the first person to treat him well that day. She couldn't be like the others; she must have a pure soul.

“…And that’s why we moved here. My dad’s job. I’ll miss California, but I wanna know of this city”

“Well, Gotham it's a little dangerous, but nothing you can't handle”

“It's what all my friends from California said” Arthur and Alex walked in one of the corridors at their own step, they hadn't even realized that were already late for class “So, Arthur, you always lived here?"

"Yes, since I was born"

“That sounds great. It must be great, always living in one place, always keeping your friends”

Arthur lowered his gaze some embarrassed; he didn't realize that Alex was meeting him as if he were just a normal boy. He wasn't a normal boy, but he didn't want to tell her about him, he didn't want to tell her that he didn't have any friends. He didn't want her to think he was a freak.

“I guess”

"Well, it's always good to meet more people, it's good that you're the first one I meet from Gotham"

Arthur at this moment was speechless, turned to Alex shyly, who kept a smile on her face, was she really grateful to meet him?

"Do you really think that?"

"Of course! You could show me the school later, I'm afraid to do it on my own and lose myself"

Arthur smiled and felt his red cheeks, how could someone like Alex overflow so much joy? Of course, he was going to help her with all the doubts she had from school.

But suddenly, the shadow attacked him again. He looked around, the bell had already rung and everyone had all already entered class, the two of them were the only ones in the corridor. If nothing bad had happened, it's because no one had seen them together. He didn't even have 15 minutes of meeting Alex and he was afraid the others would mess with her, just because she'd been by his side.

"Yeah, I'll show you the school at lunch"

"Oh! That’s great! Thank you, Arthur! Well, I think I should go to class…” Arthur quickly thought that was his chance, the two of them would go to their respective classes and he would disappear, despite the fact he promised to help her. He thought of hiding from Alex in all that remained of the day, a strange way to protect her. “…I have to go to room E-11"

And Arthur's plans were completely ruined.

"…Oh, that's mine too"

"Really?! That means we are meant to be friends!" Alex almost yelled excitedly, and Arthur could not believe what she said.

“M-meant to be friends? Y-You wanna be my friend?”

“Yeah! Why not?”

Arthur's smile was big.

He couldn't, he couldn't let that go. He couldn't miss the chance to have a friend, a real friend. 

Both reached to room E-11, opened the door, realizing that classes had already started.

Alex went in first and Arthur followed her, the gazes on them were almost immediately. Alex walked to the teacher and showed her a card. The teacher looked at the card and went to the classroom.

"Class, we have a new classmate, this is Alexandra Grant, she comes from California. So, I like to inform you miss Grant and you too young Fleck what rule did not follow today: When the ring bells you must be in your classroom before the teacher start the class”.

Arthur was a bit used to that, but felt sorry for Alex, as they were giving her a terrible first impression.

“Welcome to Gotham miss Grant, sit down right now”

“Sorry Ms. Joy” Arthur whispered and Alex did the same, knowing that teacher's last name. Quickly Arthur went to take a seat, and Alex followed behind him, taking a seat next to him.

It was a history class. While Mrs. Joy spoke aloud about the Independence of the country, Arthur turned his gaze to Alex, she looked very nervous and scared by what happened. It wasn't fair, she was new there, she didn't deserve such a treatment.

Speedily, he took a sheet from his notebook and tore it up, into a small piece of sheet, he began to write something. When the teacher turned the blackboard, Arthur passed the note to Alex. She immediately saw it, took the note, and read it.

“ _I'm sorry I made you late for class, you didn't have to get a scold from the teacher”_

Alex smiled and turned to Arthur, giving him her smile. She immediately took out another small sheet and began to write. The teacher was still talking about the Fathers of the Nation when Alex passed the note to Arthur.

_ Don't feel bad please, it's not your fault. The teacher doesn't seem to get much love from her husband _

Arthur read the note and felt the need to laugh, put his hand in his mouth. But it wasn't his condition, it was a real laugh. Some classmates turned to Arthur, giving him an unpleasant look. Alex realized that, and Arthur calmed down. If they knew that he wanted to laugh for real.

_ No, it doesn't seem like, I hadn't thought of that before _

Alex laughed slightly again. They decided to leave that little game for that moment, they didn't want to be caught by Mrs. Joy.

The History class hour passed very quickly, the bell ringed again, Mrs. Joy left homework and finally left the place. At that moment, the whole classroom turned to the new girl.

“So, what was your name?” Alex, naturally kind, began to answer any doubts they had about her.

“Alexandra, Alexandra Grant, but you can call me Alex”

“Alex, that's a good name, it's very nice"

Alex thanked her for the gesture while other classmates approached her. The whole class wanted to meet the new girl from California. At that moment, Arthur felt displaced by everyone, but that was normal again, he just turned his head to the window.

He couldn't feel jealous, he barely met Alex that morning, of course, the others were going to be interested in her. Some even said something like "Come here, better sit next to me" and honestly, Arthur waited for the moment she would get up and leave him alone.

“No, thank you, I’m fine here”

“Are you sure? But you are next to... Fleck”

Arthur tried not to move, not turn towards others, because he knew he was going to have unfriendly looks on his head. And he didn't want to scare Alex with his laughter.

"I am fine here, thank you again"

"Alex..." At that moment, they began to speak to Alex soundlessly, as if Arthur did not listen to them, of course, he could still hear them "…But he is... Weird, I don't think you want to hang out with him, he is too strange, he's... Well, a freak"

“What? Why you say that?”

“Good morning class!” The math teacher interrupted the conversation, starting a new class. The next hours, Alex was trying to look to Arthur, but he didn't look like the Arthur she'd met in the restroom. She looked at him more self-conscious, uncomfortable and it looked like he didn't want to make eye contact with her. Alex wondered if he had bothered with her, she didn't know why and hoped he wouldn't.

Arthur however, was struggling with himself, it was shown to her that he was not well received at school, actually, they warned him, and in a good way. He was hoping with that, Alex would decide to leave him alone. She didn't deserve the same harassment he received.

But at the same time, Arthur was very hurt a lot to lose a girl who really wanted to be his friend.

The bell rang. It was lunchtime.

Alex took his pen and notebook, but as she turned to Arthur, Arthur had taken his things as quickly as possible, put them in his backpack, and left the classroom.

Alex didn't understand what was going on with Arthur.

...

He wasn't in the cafeteria; she'd probably be there looking for him.

Arthur was in a secret place at school, at least for him, in a place where no one could find him. A place where he used to hide when the idiots of his classmates wanted to vent and have fun with him.

Tears fell from his face. He didn't want to cry anymore. He once listened to his mother when he was 10 and fell by accident and hurt his knee. He couldn't stop crying until his mother scolds him with a "Big Boys Don't Cry."

Arthur didn't understand, he was almost going to become an adult, a man, and he was still crying. The worst thing for him is he thought he was crying about something silly. He was crying because everyone pointed him as a freak in front of Alex, they told her he wasn't normal. And when someone found Arthur wasn't normal, he was rejected.

Abruptly, the laugh came out of his throat, and that's when he hated himself. He couldn't believe how weak he could become. He lasted a short time laughing, he was able to control it, but he was sick of laughing and crying. He has wiped the tears off his face once more, took his backpack, and started looking for a way to get some food. He was out of school, in a little alley, with some garbage.

…

Alex kept looking for Arthur in the school, she thought maybe he'd be in the cafeteria. Besides, she was already hungry.

The cafeteria was full. Alex stopped with the points of his blue shoes, looking for the boy she met that morning. However, there was no sign of him.

“Hey Alex, will you sit with us?”

She heard a group of her classmates talk to her. Alex didn't know if it was a good idea, as they were the same ones who said weird things about Arthur. She approached them with her lunch.

But, the conversation between the three boys and the two girls who invited Alex became a little uncomfortable for her.

“…California, I see, where exactly are you from?"

"From Venice, I-"

"Really?! From L.A.?! How you can leave a paradise and decided to move to the worst place in the world?!"

Alex didn't understand the girls' overreaction.

“Eh? I-It was for my dad’s job, he-”

“Your dad’s job?! He’s working in a movie or something?!”

“No… He works in the press, he’s gonna-”

“In the press? He’s an important journalist?

“Well, he's starting, but-”

Every moment she tried to explain, she was interrupted, it was like they were trying to find something important about her, but she was getting tired of the situation.

To her luck, she observed how far the cafeteria door opened: Arthur was coming in. Alex smiled, finally someone who wasn't a fool.

But, despite Alex's happiness, Arthur looked around, it seemed that no one had noticed him, but suddenly:

"Hey Fleck!"

Those idiots again. Arthur didn't want to be humiliated in front of everyone like in the morning, so he rapidly left the cafeteria, almost running.

"I'm so sorry" Alex suddenly took his lunch, apologizing to the boys and girls, "I have to go, but I'd love to eat with you tomorrow. I'll see you” Alex quickly got up from his seat and ran to the door, even arrived before the boys who intended to annoy Arthur. And they noticed Alex.

"Hey, did you see that girl?"

"Yes, I think she's the new girl"

"Oh... I would love to meet her and... You know..."

And those three guys laughed like idiots

…

Arthur wasn't even trying to look back, just think about running away to safety. He heard footsteps behind him. _Fuck, please not here, not here._

"Hey boy!"

A voice alerted him, but seeing who he was, he calmed down.

"Alex..." He stopped not only for her, he realized that only Alex was following him “What are you doing here?”

"I've been looking for you in almost all school, where were you?"

"I… I was just… Nothing important"

Alex again observed Arthur's red nose and his attempt not to be weak in front of her.

"Arthur, are you okay?

"Yes, yes, I'm fine, just... I just wanted to breathe air. That’s all"

"Oh… Okay, well, it's just that when the bell rang, I wanted to talk to you, but you left too fast. You promised me you were going to show me school."

 _Shit, that promise_. He wasn't supposed to promise things like that so fast.

"Hey... Alex, I-I don't think that's was a good idea"

"Why not?" Alex asked something confused, Arthur wasn't ready to take her away from him.

"... I-I don't think it's a good idea to be seen together"

Alex felt his chest sink when he heard that.

"What? Why do you say that?" Arthur didn't know what to tell her, he owed her an explanation, of course, but what could he tell her?

“They told you, I'm a freak. Freaks like me don't do very well in life”

“But I don’t understand, why they… they said you’re a freak? That’s stupid, you’re so kindness and gentleness”

Arthur felt under pressure, why did she start asking him that? Did he have to explain to Alex about his condition? No, he didn't have to, because he was about to show it to her.

“They told you Alex, and I-”

And the laugh started.

Arthur took his hand to his mouth and walked away from Alex, trying to control himself, but that wasn't so easy, he just wanted to stop laughing. He appreciated that they were both alone, but he couldn't help be embarrassed. His face turned red, and his breathing difficult to control.

Alex didn't know what to react to, tried to laugh with him, even she couldn't find the funny thing, and it wasn't until Arthur started looking in his pockets for a little card who he wrote himself.

Alex took the card and started reading it. And she knew why Arthur tried to ignore her the rest of the day, and why he disappeared before she could talk to him. Arthur just wanted to disappear. And in that instant, he felted a hand on his shoulder, and as that hand suddenly wrapped him in a hug.

Arthur hadn't felt a hug in a long time.


	3. Conversations

A beautiful warmth blossomed on his chest, a new feeling. Just feeling the arms of Alex around him, her hand putting on her neck, causing him to put his head on her shoulder.

He wished he would not ruin that moment with his laughter, but he only heard whispers from her voice, saying that everything was fine.

“It’s okay… It’s okay…”

It didn’t take long for Arthur to calm down; the laugh decided to leave him alone. Arthur could now breathe quietly. However, he still felt a little embarrassed.

“Uh… Alex?”

“Yes, Arthur?”

“I’m sorry…”

“What?” Alex separated his head, but still hugging him. She looked at him, stunned; why was he apologizing to her? “Why do you say you’re sorry? You don’t have to apologize”

“But... It’s just that this. It is very embarrassing for me...”

“But this is not your fault”

“But sometimes... Sometimes I feel like it is...”

Alex’s eyebrows curved over, and the concern was drawn on her face, suddenly feeling so much sadness and pity for Arthur, perhaps that’s why others referred to him as a “freak.”

“Do you want to go somewhere else?”

“Hey... Yes... Sure... Please”

It wasn’t long when Arthur and Alex were sitting on a small bench in the schoolyard.

“This... Well... Doctors keep studying why I have this... This...” Arthur was ashamed to explain his condition to Alex; he considered it a bad thing.

“The laugh?”

“Yes, the laugh... It looks like I’ve had it since I was born, my mom said that. She says it must have been some malformation while she was pregnant. I have to take some medications to control it, but it’s a rare illness, they don’t know what it’s exactly...”

Arthur felt weird, explaining to someone what his condition was, stranger to him than anyone interested in him. Alex only listened intently to everything Arthur told her. Arthur was someone extraordinary; Alex could perceive it.

“This only happens to me when I’m very stressed or focused, even when I’m scared... Well, it happens when I have negative emotions. My mom had to explain to the Principal about this because the teachers didn’t believe me, they already do, but the others don’t... Or maybe they understand, but they misinterpret...”

Arthur stopped explaining. At the moment, he finally expected Alex’s rejection because that’s how always happened with him. For that horrendous laugh. It was the part he hated most about himself.

However, the last thing Alex thought was to reject him. Alex made a retrospective of the day, all the moments she spent with Arthur until that instant.

And without him expecting it, Alex delicately took Arthur’s hand. He trembled with that little touch, feeling her hand, her skin.

“Arthur, I’m so sorry you had to pass this”

“I’m getting used to it”

“But that’s not okay… It’s not okay everyone to treat you like you are someone bad”

“Maybe I am…”

“Arthur… I know this will sound crazy, I haven’t known you for half a day, and I think you’re a good person.”

Arthur felt his heartbeat quickly as he listened to Alex's words.

“You think that?”

“Yeah, I want you to be my friend, Arthur”

At the time, Arthur realized that he could not miss his opportunity, but he still feared so much for Alex.

“But, they, if they see you with me, they could mess with you, and I don’t want that for you. You’re the new girl, and you deserve better friends than I do.”

Alex let out a sarcastic laugh in that instant, laughter that scared Arthur a little.

“Better friends? Today I lunch with some of that “better friends”; they’re avaricious shit. I told them I was from California, and they wanted to know precisely which part; they asked me if my dad had an important job, they even tried to know it if he made a lot of money. I’m not going to stand for fake friends.”

At that moment, Arthur watched her admiringly; she was incredible; she could spot who bad people were and didn’t even let them into her life.

That meant he wasn’t a bad person?

Feeling a little better, Arthur hugged Alex again; she hugged him. Not having had a hug for a long time made him think a lot of things. 

For the rest of the day, Alex decided not to change her seat in the classroom, while Arthur smiled from time to time, he finally had a friend.

…

Arthur returned home very animated. He had never happened anything like this, he had never had a friend, and was so grateful to the life of having sent him a special friend.

He opened his apartment door and came in.

"Happy?"

"Hello, mom!"

Arthur almost screamed with joy. Penny left the kitchen to watch her son arrive.

"Happy, look at you, you look very... Oh well, happy." Penny noticed Arthur's outstanding happiness, if she could, would take a picture of him, Arthur had always been someone sad, and watching him smile was a phenomenon not to be missed

"Oh mom, of course, I'm happy, today was a good day at school." Arthur almost screamed with emotion, couldn't stand it, because he really felt great.

"I told you Happy; I told you were going to have a good day."

"It was more than good! Mom, I have a friend! A real friend, mom!"

"A friend? I'm glad you have a new friend." Penny smiled at her son without showing his teeth, she found it a little strange that Arthur said he had a "real friend."

"Then you tell me about your new friend, help me put the dishes on the table."

"Yes Mom, three dishes?"

"Nah, Charlie's not here."

"Really? Did he go to work or something?"

"No, he made me angry again, he brought back the subject of his wife and his children, and he knows I hate that subject..." Arthur wished he could stop listening, as he hated hearing much of his mother's problems with her boyfriend. Once the two sat at the table, eating some meat with potatoes, Penny put her boyfriend's theme aside, and eventually, Arthur could talk about what had him happy that day.

"Mom, I want to tell you about my friend."

"Oh, of course, your new friend! Tell me about it!" Arthur was ready to tell Penny everything.

"She's a girl, a really pretty girl, her name is Alexandra, but she likes to be called Alex, she's very kind."

"Oh... she's a girl..." The enthusiasm to know of Arthur's new friend ceased when Penny discovered she was a girl.

"Yes, she's one of the happiest people I've ever met, she's got a beautiful smile, and I think she's an angel."

"An angel, we climb this fast"

"Oh Ma, if only you knew, it’s just that I had a... One of my attacks and she helped me. And she is from California mom! You know how much I want to visit California someday, and she's like a little piece of my dream in my life, it's like she-"

"California, this gives me distrust".

Arthur's excitement and smile for telling his mother all about Alex stopped.

"What?"

"That you said to me, she's from California, and that's a very liberal place. I've heard that the women of California are... Well, let's leave it to us that they're very immoral".

Arthur stopped breathing. Why does his mom say that?

"B-but Mom, she's not like that the women you said. She's very nice to me; I don't think-"

"Happy, you just met her today, just wait a few days, and her true nature will come out. Be careful with her; I don't want you to fall into her trap".

He couldn't believe it; he couldn't believe what his mother was saying. And he needed to defend Alex.

"Mom! She's not like…!"

And was interrupted for Penny.

"Oh! Now you're going to say I'm not correct? Are you going to start with that again? Happy, I'm not telling you these things to bother you, you're my son, and I care about you. It would help if you didn't get hurt.”

“But they've all hurt me already. She's different, I can feel it”

"Just because you feel that doesn't mean it's true"

"B-but mom, she-"

Not wanting to hear her son's reasons, Penny decided to stop Arthur.

"I don't want yo be friend that girl".

Arthur was silent for a few seconds, shocked. And instantly, he yelled at his mother aloud.

"Why not? She's the only friend I have, the only one for the first time in years! And you don't want her to be my friend?!"

"Don't raise your voice, boy, is that how you thank everything I do for you? I do everything for you to have a better life so that we can get ahead, leave this crap hole of an apartment, and that's how you pay me?"

Penny's words said to Arthur froze him, like if he had done something wrong like being left in detention or robbing something of a store. Suddenly Arthur felt that tingling in his throat again. Arthur tried to get off the table.

"Not!" Penny yelled to him, "You will stay here."

"B-B-But"

"Stop hiding that, that's part of you."

_I don't want this to be a part of me_.

The laugh returned. Arthur tried to hide it, but whenever he had an attack in front of Penny, she forced him not to hide his laughter, despite how much he hated his laugh.

After a long and dying minute, Arthur was able to calm down. 

"Arthur, I don't know why you do that; you know that condition is yours."

"I hate it."

"Hate it?! But Happy, remember, this condition it's a blessing in your life."

_No again with that, please..._

"I don't like this; what kind of bless it is?"

"Happy, you always forget everything I tell you. You know God gave you that laugh for a reason, remember what that reason is, Happy? Can you say that reason for Mom?"

Arthur tried never to see his mother with hate because he could never hate her in his life, but situations like that were very wearing for him. With his eyes weeping and still trembling, Arthur said the reason: 

"To bring laughter and joy into this fucked up world."

A loud noise. It was a blow, a direct blow to Arthur's hand that was on the table. It was Penny's fist.

Arthur screamed in pain and took his hand to himself. 

"What have we said about swearwords, Happy?"

Penny crossed her arms and looked authority at her son.

"Sorry, Ma..."

His hand was still hurting. 

"I'm going to go to the store; Charlie left some money before he screws it up again; you want to buy for you that bread you always like it?"

Arthur only stared at his mother. He didn't understand her sometimes. She always criticized him when he said swearwords despite his age, but she told those words out loud. That time, she slammed Alex, his friend, a lot, saying she was probably an immoral woman when Penny was dating a married man. 

But there were many things Arthur feared to question her, and he would not, because of the simple fact that she was his mother and should respect her authority.

"Yeah... Thank you, Ma"

"Okay, I'll be back." 

And without doing anything else, Penny went for her purse and left the apartment. 

Arthur, just at last, went to the couch and dropped on this one. 

He just wanted to tell his mom that he had finally got a friend; what's the problem if she was a girl? What's the problem if she came from California?

When Penny gave Arthur orders about how he should behave or make decisions, Arthur followed them blindly, without questioning her.

But this time, it was very different. Too much. And he didn't want to stop being friend with Alex just because his mother made a wrong assumption about her. Arthur firmly believed that the first day was going to be hell and thanks to Alex it was quite the opposite of that.

For the first time, he decided not to follow her mother's order; perhaps he could convince her that Alex is not a bad person in the future.

She definitely isn't.

…

"How was your day today, sweetheart?"

In a completely different atmosphere, full of peace, with some music on a record player with a vinyl, Alex was sitting on the balcony of her house, watching the sunset from afar. She had been distracted by her mother, who came home from work, approaching her daughter, wanting to hear from her.

"Mommy"

Her mother put her hands in Alex’s shoulders, Alex took one of her mother’s hands and stroked her, every time her mom gave to Alex a show of affection, she would receive it

" Was it a good first day? You made new friends, sweetheart?”

Alex smiled at her mother; she took a seat in another chair near to her.

"It was a very rare day mommy, but in the end, it was worth it."

"Really, honey? Why was it worth it?"

Alex smiled again; Alex's smile always gave happiness to others; her family was not going to be the exception.

"Well, after you and Dad left me at school, I walked in, and it's very different from California. The people here seem to be cold, like Gotham".

"Cold?"

"Yes…” Alex played with the braid of her hair, braid that was made after her bath “I tried to find the classroom before, as you said, but I had my pen in my hand, and the ink came out, and it stained my hands. I ran to the women's room to wash my hands, but I don't think they have anything to say the bathrooms are men's or women's."

"Why do you say that?"

"I think I accidentally went into the men's room."

"Oh, Alex!" His mother began to laugh, "How could you confuse that?" Alex started laughing with his mom too.

"I don't know! It just happened! But if I hadn't made a mistake, I wouldn't have met my first friend in Gotham."

"Your first friend? Oh my god, I want to hear this!"

At that instant, Alex's eyes lit up, she tried to hide that, but it was a failure, her mother realized that.

"Well, his name is Arthur, Arthur Fleck... He's a boy... Well..."

"Is he handsome? Look, you blushed."

And Alex took her fingers to one of her cheeks; it was true what his mother was saying.

"N-No, I mean! Yes, I think he's cute, and he-"

"I caught you, girl!”

"Mommy! Let me finish!" Alex almost yelled at her mom a little upset because she wouldn't let her talk.

"Okay, I'm sorry"

"Well... I think he's a good boy, but he's a little sad."

"Sad? Oh, why he's sad?" Her mother's expression of laughter disappeared and instead, one of dismay appeared. Alex didn't know if it was right to talk about it with her mom, but she knew she could trust her.

"Oh mom, I think he's in a lot of problems. When I walked into the bathroom, I heard someone cry, I thought I imagined it, but I didn't. I asked if he needed help, and he opened the door. He tried to hide he was crying front me, but his eyes are red"

"Oh, I hope he'll okay right now."

"I hope it the same thing, but it's not his only problem. He has another... And it's kind of weird. At lunchtime, he had something like a... attack..."

"Attack? Asthma attack?"

"No, a laughing attack"

"Laughing? Oh, he must be a very sympathetic guy!"

Her mother laughed with innocence, but Alex was serious. Her mother decided to remain silent.

"No Mom, he showed me a card; the card said something like, "Forgive my laughter; I have a condition." After his attack he told me about it. Since he was born, he has a condition, something in his brain went wrong, and he has sudden attacks of laughter. It looks like he'd be laughing at a joke or something, but he's actually under a lot of stress."

"Oh my... Oh, Poor boy."

"But something weird was going on with him, he was asking me sorry for his condition, he said he didn't want to bother me. Many don't want him at school because of his condition, and others make fun of that. He told me he didn't want us to be friends because he was afraid of they'd do the same to me.

"Oh, please tell me you didn't listen to him."

"Of course not! Besides, the others at school are a fucking idiots; they thought I’m coming from L.A. we were rich or something."

"But honey, we-"

"Mom, I don't want fake friendships, I'd rather have a friend like Arthur than have 100 fake friends."

Her mother saw her with great pride. Alex's heart must have been golden. “Oh, Alex, as extraordinary as ever”

“I'd love to have more friends, but I want Arthur to be with them. I want to help him a lot.”

“You could do it, honey, you can help him, as long as you can help someone else try it.”

Alex smiled at his mom again. Again, she thought again of Arthur, and as she did so, she would play again with the tip of her braid.

"Dad is coming to dinner soon?"

"Will you, help me prepare dinner?"

"Of course, I do!"

…

The next day, Alex sat in the same place again, right next to Arthur. She was waiting for him, with happiness. Arthur, when he arrived in class, he tried to get in quickly, unnoticed, but seeing Alex sitting next to his chair made him feel safe.

"Good morning Arthur"

"Morning Alex, ready for your second day?"

"Ready for all the days"

The next few days, they passed normally, at least for Alex, little by little, she began to make more friends in the class, especially with the girls.

Although she was trying to get Arthur to join them, Arthur simply said: "I don't want to bother the others" Alex didn't show to Arthur but sometimes that behavior disappointed her a little. But she'd be patient with him because she really wanted to help Arthur.

Arthur and Alex laughed together between classes, talking about a joke, about how Ms. Joy was getting mad again about nonsense, or they just talked about meaningless things and laughed together again.

Of course, the rest of the class realized that especially the three guys who always bothered Arthur.

"Why is that idiot with her? Are they a couple?"

"I don't think so, I think she just has pity on him."

They saw with annoyance the two of them, especially Arthur

"Poor her when she wants to get him off her"

"I could help her with that" One of them opened her mouth, and her two friends laughed.

"But Jeff, don't you have a girlfriend?"

"So what? Can't I play with that doll?"

All three laughed a little higher.

Arthur realized they laughter and feared that those guys who always bothered him about his condition, they always were making fun of him.

"Is something wrong, Arthur?"

Alex asked when she saw the expression on Arthur's face changed abruptly. Arthur didn't know what to say at those time. Maybe those idiots made fun of them, or they laughed at something else, and maybe he was getting paranoid. Arthur hadn't told Alex about those three guys who always bothered him every time they had the chance.

However, since Alex entered school, they hadn't even crossed their eyes with him, would they finally leave him alone? Or would they be planning something worse?

Arthur looked at Alex, if they were planning something horrible, he couldn't let them hurt her, he had to protect her, he had to protect his best friend.

"I think I forgot the math homework at my house."

"Oh, don't worry, I can help you with that."

"Oh... Thank you, Alex, thank you..."

Yes, Arthur had to protect her from the adversity.


	4. Dreams and wishes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry if it took me a while to upload the chapter, it was difficult weeks for me, but I'm back! hope you like the chapter! short but I think it's a very adorable this one!

Arthur was getting ready to go out, but not to school this time. Her mother reconciled with her boyfriend again, and the two had not returned since Friday night. It was Saturday morning.

Arthur dressed in dark pants and a grey sweater, he didn't know if that was a good combination of clothes and colors. He was getting ready to go out with Alex that day.

A date? No, he would just visit a few parts of Gotham with Alex to show them to her, but he felt very nervous as if it were really a real date.

 _She's your friend, that's all, your friend_ Arthur began scolding himself _You can't fall in love with the first person who treats you well. You wouldn't ruin your only friendship with loving feelings, you could scare her_

But as much as he tried, Arthur couldn't deny it, he was enchanted by Alex from the first day he met her. But fearing ruining everything, he decided to push those feelings and see her as she considered him: A friend.

Arthur left his apartment and headed to the meeting point in Gotham Park. Right on the side of the fountain. Arthur was sitting on the edge of the fountain. He watched some families walk together, as some parents played with their children, and some couples were holding hands.

Arthur looked at all those people, and he was envious.

Envy that they could have normal lives, normal families, mom and dad, as it should be. He remembered the story his mother used to tell him about his father, that since he was a little boy, he decided to abandon them for another woman. He remembered how Penny's voice was torn apart by talking that to Arthur. However, Penny was now doing that same damage to another woman, a married woman. Another contradiction of her, Arthur simply decided to ignore that.

A very negative thought attacked his mind, what if his father abandoned them for him? For of his condition? 

He closed his eyes, tried to take that thought away from his mind before the laughter took him by surprise, again. Sometimes he could control his emotions and his laughter, but it was just that, sometimes.

"Hey Artie!"

Hearing that voice calmed him almost instantly because he felt safe with her around. Arthur turned aside and saw Alex come to him. He took the time to see her dress, a lovely yellow dress with brown shoes. Alex always dressed as her personality, joyful, and spontaneous.

"Hey Alex, you're on time, I see you didn't miss out."

"That's what you think, I actually came too early to find the place"

They both laughed. They went from there to start walking in the park. The day the park was being too quiet to be a Saturday morning.

"I think Mrs. Joy went too far with her test of yesterday; it was complete madness!"

"I think I'll fail it"

"Me too" Alex protested as she shook her little purse everywhere, Arthur only had his hands in his pockets “God, just look at her, you can see she hasn't been touched in years, her last name doesn't match with her life”

Arthur laughed loudly, loved having spontaneous laughter.

"You're very obsessed with the subject of her husband touch her or not" Alex laughed embarrassed, her face was red as a tomato.

"Oh well! That's usually why women her age live bitter and angry!"

Arthur laughed with her again.

They spent a lot of time in the park talking about a lot of topics. Confidence between the two had grown supernaturally in the last few weeks. The two were now sitting in the grass, staring at the lake in front of them.

"Are those on the lake ducks or geese?" Alex asked suddenly.

"I think they're geese" Arthur answered Alex's question after watching the birds dimly.

"Really?"

"They have a long neck"

"Aren't those the swans?"

"No, swans have it longer"

As insignificant as it was, Arthur loved conversations with Alex, especially if these conversations didn't make any sense, like the one they were having at this moment.

"Arthur, what would you like to be when you finish school?" Alex asked again suddenly, but this time she left Arthur perplexed.

"Finish school?" He repeated the question.

"You know, when graduation passes and all those things, what would you like to be? being a doctor? A teacher? Maybe an accountant?"

Arthur shrugged and laughed nervously. How can explain to Alex that he wasn't as blessed as her?

"Oh... Well, I don't think I can go to college, I think those professions are ruled out for me."

Alex felt her stomach tremble. Sometimes she forgot Arthur wasn't so lucky in his life like her.

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that"

"Don't worry, ... The truth is…”

Arthur observed the guilt in her face, he felt bad about making her feel guilty, but an idea came to his mind. Perhaps it was time to open up a little more with her, telling one of his deepest dreams.

“The truth is… that since I was a kid, my mom always told me that my purpose in this life is to bring laughter and joy to this dark and cold world. She says that for a reason God gave me this condition"

Alex frowned but smiled instantly so as not to raise suspicions. Rarely had they talked about their parents, but when Arthur talked about her mother, always Alex felted a bad feeling about her.

 _A mother should help and comfort her child when he is sick, not say that his illness is a blessing from God._ Alex thought in response to what Arthur said, but decided to respond with something else.

"And what exactly do you plan to do?"

Arthur at that moment could not bear the emotion, and with a huge smile on his face.

"I'm going to be a comedian"

"Comedian? Wow… That sounds good Arthur." Alex said excitedly, Arthur was silent for a few seconds, it was the first time anyone had not made fun of his dream.

"I want to be like Murray Franklin"

" Oh, Arthur that’s so... Who is Murray Franklin?"

Arthur at the time swallowed air, not being able to believe what Alex asked.

"No, you can’t… It’s a joke?”

“A joke?”  
“You really don't know who Murray Franklin is?”

Alex denied with her head. Arthur could not really believe it, but he could explain more about his dream, and why that person was his inspiration

"Oh! Well, he's Gotham's most famous comedian, the best of them all. I want to become like him. I'm practicing a little, I want to go to Pogo's, they say that's where Murray came from. Maybe I'll run with the same luck.”

Alex listened attentively to Arthur, as he said very enthusiastically, even though she did not understand many things Arthur spoke of with great passion.

"You will Arthur, I’m pretty sure you will, but what is Pogo's?"

"Oh, it's a bar where comedians perform. I can't get into that place yet because I'm underage, but soon I'll be 18, I’ll practice some jokes and make my performance"

Arthur made sure to say small details for Alex to fully understand, remembering that she was not from Gotham.

“Oh Arthur, I promise you, when I'm 18, I'll go see every one of your presentations. You make me laugh a lot with your occurrences and the jokes you usually say. If you practice them, you could get to that dream"

“Thanks, Alex. You're the first one who believes in me.” Arthur said very gratefully to Alex, but with a small tone of sadness. He must not have been sad, Alex was the first to trust him, he should not fail her. “Well, I think we've talked a lot about myself, what about you, Alex? Do you want to be a lawyer or a teacher like Mrs. Joy?”

Alex laughed loudly. Arthur wanted to deny it, but every time Alex laughed, his heart was delighted.

"No, that's not for me. Honestly, I've been clear since I was a little girl."

"What is it?"

Alex bit her lips, excited, she talked to Arthur about what she was most passionate about. 

"I'd like to be a poet.” Alex stared at Arthur and bit his lower lip with emotion.

"Poet?" Arthur repeated surprised.

"Yes, I would like to be a poet, write books, and perhaps sing my poems"

"A poet" looked at her admiringly. Should not be surprised, in the short time he knew her, Alex had always been so singular and magnificent girl.

"A pretty crazy dream, by the way"

"Why would it be?"

At that moment, Alex stopped seeing Arthur and the smile on his face gradually vanished.

"Well, my parents consider it that way. They want me to be a journalist, just like my father is. I don't want that; I don't like it. I'd rather sing and write"

Arthur didn't understand, why Alex couldn't be a poet and a singer? It was her dream, she had to follow it, just as he wanted to do with his.

"You can try Alex if you want it"

"Oh Arthur, look, you're showing you're going to be a great comedian because that was a good joke."

"What?"

"The truth is that I can't realize that dream, my parents saved a lot of money to study that in college. Every time I suggest my parents about my dream, my dad says he doesn't want to see me become an ordinary singer at a filthy bar. So, I have to say goodbye to that dream and follow they dream. At least you have your dream so clear”

Arthur didn't know what to say about it, he knew Alex was sad, and he noticed. It was the first time he'd seen Alex sad.

However, Alex's sadness only lasted a few minutes. They seemed that Alex always had to have a happy face, never be sad.

Alex rose from the grass that was turning green to coffee, autumn was upon them.

"Are you going to take me to that place of the donuts you told me or are you going to stay there?" Alex said as with her hands she shook the dirt from the skirt of her dress.

Arthur looked at her from the ground, didn't know what to say, or to answer about it. Alex's hand stretched out at him and Arthur decided to take it, helping him get up.

"I promise you, it's a good place, the donuts are very sweet"

…

That day, despite that little cloudy moment, was a beautiful day for Arthur. For some strange reason, he couldn't help believing that he and Alex became more united after that conversation at the lake. It was the first time he mentioned his dreams to someone and that someone wasn't making fun of them. After lunch at the doughnut restaurant, Arthur continued to show Alex some important places in Gotham. It was the afternoon when Arthur accompanied Alex to the subway station. She thanked him very much for that day, and they said goodbye again with a hug when the train arrived.

Arthur walked home, there was not much road of his house subway station, actually, it was just getting dark outside. He came to the apartments where he lived. His home was at the end of the dark and narrow corridor.

Arthur opened the door and listened to the television. _Oh, no._

“Arthur? Are you?”

He heard Penny's voice. His mother didn't know he was going out that day. 

Arthur, shyly, entered the apartment and found her in the living room with her messy hair but with anger in his eyes. Charlie wasn't around, they might have had another fight. And sometimes Penny would take out her anger on Arthur.

"Hi mom"

"Hello, Arthur"

"M-Mom, where were you?"

"Why you ask me that? You can’t do it, you too left without my permission. Where were you?"

Arthur, nervous, remembered that Penny had forbidden him to have a friendship with Alex just because she was from California, so he lied.

“I-I went out with some friends, w-we went for some sodas”

“Oh, I see. Didn't that girl from California go to that meeting?”

Arthur stopped breathing. Alex's image came to his mind.

“N-no, were just a few boys and one of them took his girlfriend”

“His girlfriend? Oh wow, a young girl with a boyfriend, who disrespects her parents”

“What?”

Penny stopped talking and go to the kitchen, started making dinner, Arthur just followed her until he was staying at the kitchen entrance.

Penny, as she pulled a piece of meat out of the fridge, started talking back in that authoritarian voice. that voice that made Arthur nervous.

"Stay away from girls Arthur, maybe some they're good girls, but most are just looking to get pregnant and get a fool guy to take the responsibility. I don't want you to be a fool, Arthur”

Arthur didn't know what to say, he didn't know his mother didn't like girls. Hadn't that happened before, would it all be since when he told her about Alex?

“O-Okay mom, I-I-”

“Ugh! We don't have onions anymore, could you go get some, please?”

“Y-Yeah”

Arthur took of Penny's stretched hand a few cents. As the elevator headed to the main floor, Arthur tried not to think of Penny's words. He walked down the street, occasionally listening to the radio songs from the electronics store on the side of the grocery store. He felt guilty, very guilty because he had not lied to his mother before. The feeling that he was doing something really bad made his right leg start moving. He recalled that his therapist said that if he had moments of anxiety, he would try to control them.

How could he control them?

He remembered that he was in the middle of the store, looking for decent onions for dinner. If he started with other of his attacks…

He quickly took the first onions he saw, went to the counter and left all the money, without waiting to be charged, took a paper bag, and came out of the store. As he awkwardly tucked the onions into the bag, he ran into an alley.

He leaned against the wall and covered his mouth. The laughter started coming out again. And the tears too.

Every time he had one of his attacks, he wanted to disappear, he wanted to open his eyes and realize that it was all a bad dream, a nightmare, that in reality, there was nothing wrong with him, he was healthy, and he could have a normal life, like everyone else.

But he opened his eyes, and he was still in a dark alley, trying to survive.

It took him more than five minutes to control himself this time, when he was finally able to do so, he looked at the paper bag on the floor, took it, and saw the onions. The onions looked a little stale. He hoped his mother wouldn't criticize him for that, like when she criticizing Alex.

He walked out of the alley and walked back to his apartment.

Of that sad nightmare he had for life, the only good thing was Alex. he didn't want to admit it, nor did he want to depend on her entirely. But a friend like Alex in his life was a blessing. A real blessing.

…

_"Sometimes I dream I'm going on a road_

_But not in a car or on a motorbike_

_I dream I'm a bird and can I fly_

_I can fly away, discovering the true freedom"_

Many of her friends in California told her the same thing Arthur assumed of her that day. She was a happy girl, with a lovely smile.

But it wasn't always like that, Alex occasionally had sad moments. Remember that she could not follow her dreams was one of them. And the only way he could vent was to write poems. Or an attempt at it. Alex sitting at her desk was writing in a little blue notebook everything she felt, turning her sadness into words.

Despite that, she was not very inspired that day, she only wrote four lines and decided to leave the poem even in that sentence.

She got up from the seat and turned on the radio. Dean Martin singing "Everybody loves somebody" was the first to appear. She dropped into her huge bed and tried to stop thinking about things. Maybe she couldn't become an artist the way she wanted, but at least, if she became a journalist, could she devote herself to art journalism? Her parents didn't have to meddle in that at least.

Anyway, she was barely in high school, she didn't want to start worrying about her uncertain future. She hugged one of her teddy bears. She was 17, but sometimes she was behaving like a child. It was not for less, when something caused her fear, she became a scared little girl.

She listened the song on the radio. She remembered another of her little fears, though she did not tell anyone, not even her parents or her best friends. 17 years old and she had not yet found love. Not that she hurried to find a boy, marry him and have a family as soon as possible, but she remembered that in California, even though there were some guys she liked, none of them listened to be her boyfriend. She was in no hurry, but sometimes she envied her friends, that they all already had somebody to love.

And now she was in Gotham, things weren't getting any better. Yes, she had some friends, but she was really curious to know that she felt like having a boyfriend.

 _You don't have to worry about those things Alexandra, you're very young, and you're beautiful, you'll soon find a guy who'll love you, don't rush things_ , was what her mother used to tell her, but sometimes she felt lonely. And with more reason in a new city.

At least she was very lucky, Arthur, the first person she met in Gotham became her best friend, the trust she had with him was very big. She had a special affection for him, for of all the things they had shared in such a short time.

she remembered that Saturday when they two were together. She remembered with a smile how Arthur accompanied her to the subway station.

Alex with a bigger smile put her teddy bear eye aside, went back to her blue notebook, and write again. It wasn't a poem; it was a wish.

_"I hope God let us be friends forever"_

For some strange reason, Alex at the end of writing that sentence put on a small smiley face. And she couldn't wait for it to be Monday to see Arthur again.

...


End file.
